Saturday, October 21, 2006

30 Good Definitions

  1. Cigarette - A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other
  2. Love Affairs - Something like cricket where one day internationals are more popular than a five day tests
  3. Marriage - It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
  4. Divorce - Future tense of marriage
  5. Lecture - An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either
  6. Conference - The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present
  7. Compromise - The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece
  8. Tears - The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water power
  9. Dictionary - A place where divorce comes before marriage
  10. Conference Room - A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on
  11. Ecstasy - A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before
  12. Classics - Books which people praise, but do not read
  13. Smile - A curve that can set a lot of things straight
  14. Office - A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life
  15. Yawn - The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth
  16. Etc. - A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do
  17. Committee - Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together
  18. Experience - The name men give to their mistakes
  19. Atom Bomb - An invention to end all inventions
  20. Philosopher - A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead
  21. Diplomat - A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip
  22. Opportunist - A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river
  23. Optimist - A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet"
  24. Pessimist - A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY
  25. Miser - A person who lives poor so that he can die rich
  26. Father - A banker provided by nature
  27. Criminal - A guy no different from the rest except that he got caught
  28. Boss - Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early
  29. Politician - One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after
  30. Doctor - A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills

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